The missing gene

What the heck is wrong with me? What gene am I missing that keeps people from hurting themselves all the time? Or is there a gene that's responsible for extra clumsiness? I must have three of them.

Wanna hear about my (not atypical) morning? After work, I was on my way with the scooter (purchased yesterday) when I suddenly lost control (no idea how that happened), practically flew over that thing, skinned my knee, damaged my new pants and lost my mobile which I noticed only 300 metres ahead. Luckily, the person who found it was honest and smart enough to call some of the numbers I had dialled last and so my friend could pick it up. Phew, one problem out of three solved ;-)

But the question remains: Where is the missing gene?

So what

I hate gravity when I'm buffing jewellery.
- But wouldn't it be more difficult to pick up the beads from the ceiling?

I hate that rolls are the hottest when they're the tastiest.
- And doesn't that teach me a little patience?

I hate that I mess up a perfect dish in the last moment.
- The good thing however is that I always have a plan B.

I hate that I end up with ink all over myself when I refill printer cartridges.
- Oh well, save money or mess - the choice is mine.

I hate that a catastrophe happens whenever I complain that my life is boring.
- But yes, I learned not to complain for no reason.

But seriously..

Serious question: Does alcohol in general taste bitter? Or vodka? Or cheap vodka? Why I am asking? Because I made this Dooley's fake and when I had some on ice-cream last night, I found it having a slightly bitter aftertaste.

When we were kids (10, 11, 12ish), my cousin and I loved birthday parties at our grand-parents' as grandma would sometimes give us each one of those chocolate lined little wafercups, filled with heavily diluted advocaat. We loved that stuff. Another forbidden pleasure was orange slices dipped in the same liquor, let's not tell mum...

The funny thing is that when I was an adult and would have been allowed to that, I didn't feel like it at all. I had an unexplicable bad feeling and stayed away for some years. Now it has kind of normalised, I drink socially, like cocktails, don't mind wine.

Still an "eww, no thanks, can I have water instead please": coffee.