Ufff

A. is supposed to visit us in January. I'm not sure if it is really going to happen but the odds are not bad. And I was very much looking forward to his visit. A. is a good friend of mine, I would always defend him and stand to him (as I would to all my friends), no matter how weird he might behave at times, how self-centred he sometimes is and how many people are stabbing him from behind. He is smart, definitely different, funny, musical and not to forget good looking. All reasons to look forward to meeting him.

But now things have changed. The joy about his visit is not undiluted anymore because he is not coming alone. No, not with his girl-friend, mind you. But with another acquaintance of ours, O., a girl who made it pretty clear that she doesn't like talking to me anymore. According to her, I am "selfish, can't be a real friend to anyone", I "put on an act" and am "not genuine".

At first, that really made me wonder. Is she right? Am I like that only? Selfish, artificial and phoney? I asked a few friends of mine, those who know about my flaws - as of course I have many - and still like me.
And the results were rather astonishing. "No, you don't put on an act, but people who don't know you well could feel so because you are very controlled and hold back when dealing with those who are not your close friends." This was the tenor of several friends' statements. "Well, I don't know why she feels so. You and I have become good friends with time." replied another to my inquiry. And yet another: "She is so full of herself. Don't give a damn about the things she said. What does she know!"

Yea, what does she know? She knows nothing about me, she doesn't know me at all. Alright, if she doesn't like talking to me, that's her choice and I'm definitely not going to impose myself on anyone. But allowing her to spoil the meeting with A.? He had planned to visit M. and me, and we both live in different cities. So I really don't know how it will be. Should I renounce on going to M.'s place just because she will be there too? Should I insist that A. comes to my place on his own, without M. or O.? I can't do that. And besides, it would only be half the fun without M., who by the way is overjoyed that O. announced to accompany A.

I hope that something will happen, it's still a while to go till then, maybe O. won't be able to make it after all. One can always hope.